I’m Back

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So, it’s been two weeks since you’ve heard from me. And I’m betting if you were so kind as to lay forth the mental effort on my behalf you would assume that this has become yet another in a line of abandoned blogs that I already admitted to deserting. Not so, and I will tell you why.

Two weeks ago I was approached via e-mail by My Trending Stories. Apparently, my newborn barely week old blog at the time showed enough promise to them that they invited me to become a contributor to their blog.

At first, red flags went up everywhere. I have only spent a week prattling on about stuff pretending like I know anything about anything, Honestly, I believed them to be a scam, so I took a day and researched any stories I could find on them. When I didn’t find any I put up another red flag.

But stilI I accepted their request, figuring that I could always back out if they pulled any obvious crap like financial information and the like. So long as money never came up and I was free to post whatever I would like, what could be the harm?

I took a week after setting up my profile to write what I thought would be an awesome opening post. Spent hours editing and rereading and editing again, whereas with you generous folks I tend to just fly off the wall and see what sticks. By the following Monday, I was ready and more than a little nervous to make my addition.

And it sucked.

I am a very easy going person usually, and not that computer illiterate. So one would think that I could figure out how to post on their site like any other blog or forum. Not so. Their interface is not at all user-friendly, and at one point I was ready to throw a real tantrum after wasting an entire break at work trying to figure it out.

For instance on WordPress, if we are not finished with a post we can easily save it as a draft and come back to edit when we’re ready. On My Trending Stories not only do you have to fill out every single field including a very specifically sized picture before you save, but once you do save I have yet to figure out how to go back and edit.

Now for my part, as I pride myself on my honesty, I have not reached out to them for help on this matter. And given the events of the past few weeks, it is more than possible that I am at fault for not being patient enough to see it through. Usually, as I have no internet access at home I am forced to use the wifi at work during my breaks which causes a time crunch that helps no one and very possibly contributed a lot to my problem.

I may return there at a later date and try again because with the assumption that they are 100% legitimate it is still a great opportunity to get my voice out there. And honestly, because it scares me.

I live in the real world like a fugitive, my combination of anxiety, introverted nature, and abusive background makes me feel like I am a huge imposition to the world. I feel safest when I’m curled up in a corner alone with no one paying attention to me. I don’t do very well expressing myself vocally, let alone in writing to an audience.

The reason I started this blog was because I knew how astronomically low the chances were of anyone picking it up. It was like an echo chamber where I could get comfortable with the sound of my voice again. And when it started gathering a meager following I let myself start to fizz out under just the perceived pressure of any one person with their eyes on me.

Not anymore. I am going to continue writing here because that one week I had here with you guys was the most fun I’ve been able to have in a very long time. I am going to keep writing because it is what I need. That is all there is to it.

 

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