Everyone is the hero of their own story.
If you understand this, then you understand about 90 percent of the problems in the world today. Because I bet nearly all of them, especially in the first worlds, stem from this one mindset.
Think about it, if you are the hero and this is your story, then your story needs a villain. While seeing yourself as the hero gives you the feeling of personal strength it creates this binary worldview that in the end only serves yourself. It divides everyone into only two groups. Those who are with you, and those who are against you.
Speaking from the point of view of someone who was legitimately victimized in their youth, this way of seeing the world did more to damage my mental healing than anything. My real strength and courage came once I gave up believing it was all about hurting me and looking at where those who did hurt me were coming from.
It’s easy in this world of blaming everyone to see the man who sexually abused me my entire childhood as nothing but evil. There isn’t a soul alive who would judge me for it. But when you stop to think, these actions were things he was taught from a very young age. These abuses visited upon me were visited on him too. In the end, he could only function as he was raised.
None of that does or should excuse what he did, or what others like him do. But we need to realize and understand the cycle if we ever want to truly stop it.
More to the point, we need to start seeing people as just that, people. Not good or evil, not right or wrong. Everyone has a story and a reason for what they do. Blaming the actions of the people without understanding why they were taken in the first place is not going to solve anything.
Dismissing those who hurt us as crazy or evil ignores the very real fact that those who do the most hurting are in an unbearable amount of pain themselves. We then lose the opportunity to help ease their pain and therefore fix the source of the problem in the first place.
If we were truly the heroes of the story, we will put aside our own egos and look at the world through the eyes and the hearts of those we would call an enemy. And I can guarantee if you don’t find a new friend you will at least find peace within your own heart.