Never move into a first-floor apartment with the bedroom right beside the shared driveway. Because if you do you will have the dubious pleasure of waking up to a Hummer revving into the driveway at midnight only to join with your neighbors above in a clog dancing party extreme.
So, here is date night part two.
When last we left off I was perusing some old/ancient files containing missed attempts at writing a much earlier version of my story. These range from slightly familiar to the tale I weave now, to outright rip-offs of whatever show or book held my fancy at the time. In my case, Dark Angel, The Dark Tower Series, and most recently discovered a Twitches homage nearly word for word to the original books.
It was all very horrifying, as I knew it would be. And I once considered these pieces to be good writing! Like I literally submitted one of them in High School and expected to be published (that is a whole other story for another post). I’m trying to make it a thing where I use it to see how much better I am and how much I’ve grown, but I am really ready to set fire to them all.
I knew it would hit me this way, as I have finally seemed to grasp the concept of kill your darlings and taken it to heart. So in this myriad of lame ass writing I took care to include some pieces I was very sure to be proud of. Those being the Adventures of ARG and POD.
ARG being an anagram of my then pirate obsessed friend Amanda, and POD being a play on my nickname Prophetess of Doom as my real name literally comes from greek mythology and the doomed prophetess of Troy
How they came into being is an awesome story by itself. It all started one fine day in drama club while cleaning up from or for a production in the works, can’t recall which. Myself and a couple of good friends of mine (ARG included) were sent on an epic quest to find a way to dispose of some unwanted particle board.
It wasn’t really epic in fact, but we made it so. Traveling the abandoned halls of the High School after classes trying to find a friendly janitor guide who would in turn send us on a journey to find a mysterious loading dock in a place no student had ever gone before. Singing everything we said in a tuneless manner most operatic before completing the task of dumping the particle board.
Naturally, the idea formed that it should be turned into a stage play. In great grandiose lines and big booming voices, while also casting the club brown noser as our villain of choice. So, as per my usual, I took the 80 minutes or so from my journalism class to write it out in script form and again secured a failing grade for the class.
Nothing came of it until I took a theater elective class later that year and was tasked to write a short scene and cast persons from my class.
Then came the Curse of the Informercials.
You see at this point in my young life I was spending my weekends helping out my grandmother who suffered from dementia, so I ended up staying up all night at her apartment watching t.v. until of course three or four a.m. came around and the back to back infomercials would start.
So it came to pass that I revived ARG and POD for another great adventure to stop two evil fiends, The Channel Changer and Random Character reprising his random role from part one but now with 30% more evil.
It was the most gratifying moment of my short-lived career as a stage play author. Seeing all my drama cohorts on stage overacting my ridiculous lines, ARG in her own role as she led a hilarious cast through the grand malarky. I have never laughed so hard at anything in my life, and I am thankful for it!
Of course, there was also a partial third adventure I never finished which was going to be a parody of all the soap operas I was forced to watch as a child with my grandmother. But in order to get into that I would have to detail the background of the Fabulous Four Fighting Force, which again is another story for another post.
Seriously guys, I’m telling you. Dig up all that crappy writing you’ve saved and read it through, you will not regret it!